Making progress on tasks that feel deeply daunting and repellent is arduous. Most attempts prove to be exercises in futility, protracted bouts of unproductive and agonizing procrastination. Occasionally, however, we manage to find a way to push through and get the momentum rolling.
After having been repeatedly subjected to this predicament, with the vast majority of results falling in the first category of futile misery, I've come to the belated realization that fostering a sense of familiarity with the context of my task plays a big role in determining which of these two outcomes I get.
As far as I can tell, our sense of familiarity with any given sphere of activity is a crucial yet underestimated factor of how well we will fare within it. It is said in regards to relationships that "familiarity breeds contempt". I'm not sure whether I agree, but when it comes to getting stuff done, familiarity definitely breeds headway. Unfamiliarity stokes up our feelings of overwhelm, which are responsible in large part for procrastination. The good news is that understanding this dynamic can help us address intimidating endeavors more constructively and start making tangible progress.
Let's start by illustrating the issue and clarifying its diagnostic.
You probably know someone in your life who is perfectly capable and resourceful in many areas, but for some reason harbors a disproportionate superstitious dread of technology. When they're confronted with a computer or an unintuitive piece of software they start feeling completely helpless, and by buying into this feeling they in effect become completely helpless. I know this because I'm the guy they call for help when it happens.
I'm sure you can think of many other examples. For instance, people who end up believing they are unequivocally "terrible at math" after being traumatized by school.
The true problem isn't that they aren't capable of dealing with these tasks, but that engaging with them feels unfamiliar and threatening. So they avoid them as much as possible and, in so doing, never realize it's not as bad as they think it is. Consequently, they never get any better either.
It's easy to see it when it's happening to someone else. The comical excess in their reaction seems glaringly obvious. But when you're in the hot seat, it doesn't feel that way at all.
The dread overwhelms you, and it somehow makes perfect sense to you that although you frequently witness other people doing what's currently petrifying you without breaking a sweat, you're different. You just can't do it. An exception carrying your name has been carved somewhere in the fine print of an appendix to the immovable laws of the Universe. You'll always suck in this area of life. You'll simply have to make do and skirt around this infirmity. And you'll be damned if you ever touch that pit of hell with a ten-foot pole.
I chuckle to myself when I see someone’s ingenuity flush down the toilet as soon as they’re faced with a technological device. However, when it’s my turn to start mingling with strangers in the context of a thus far uncharted minefield of unspoken social rules or to begin an archaeological excavation in a legacy codebase written in an undocumented, eldritch, bespoke framework to decipher how some abstruse feature works, I’m not laughing anymore. I’m drenched in cold sweat, and my eyes start darting frantically in the vain hope they’ll chance upon a magical escape hatch.
If you mull it over long enough, I’m sure you can think of some Kryptonite of your own.
Alright, so assuming we now agree on the problem, how can we work towards fixing it?
I think I should start by defining what I mean by “a sense of familiarity”. In this case, I’m referring to the ability to visualize what the problem at hand is broadly made up of. Having a decent grasp of its interrelated components. Being able to intuitively break it down into smaller sub-tasks and eyeball where and how you should probably get started.
Familiarity is important because it enables confidence, and in turn, confidence enables progress. Confidence has a big influence on proficiency. It acts as a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you feel unfamiliar and inept in an area, you'll avoid it and sabotage your half-hearted attempts by giving up too soon, thus reinforcing your insecurities. In contrast, if you feel safe and confident about a task, you'll experiment and practice fearlessly, which will develop your skills and reinforce your sense of mastery.
Therefore, your first order of business should be to warm up to your environment and find your bearings instead of obsessing about getting results instantly. Nurturing familiarity is a prerequisite to nurturing efficiency. Growing familiar with a project is making progress towards its completion.
Of course, we all have different strengths and weaknesses. Even dedicated practice isn't enough to turn anyone into a virtuoso. It's also a good idea to set up your life in such a way that you don't have to frequently and substantially rely on your natural shortcomings. With that said, in the cases where you don't have a choice but to engage with them from time to time, you should be able to grapple with at least the basics if you keep this principle in mind.
Very well, you might say, this all sounds nice, but it's not very actionable. What am I actually supposed to do?
If you feel really distraught, then start by working on dissolving your panic to a more manageable level. Practice staying in the vicinity of the action. Sit with the discomfort and let your apprehension gradually readjust to reality. Try to get clear on the causes behind your fears and write them down.
As long as you haven't managed to kickstart some momentum, timers can come in very handy. They force you to spend a set amount of time on a task, regardless of perceived productivity. Check out the Pomodoro technique.
Once your distress is bearable, you should move on to step two and strive to understand the problem before trying to solve it. Start mapping out its components. If you have questions, write them down and look for the answers. Write down your hypotheses and test them out. Writing stuff down is important. It helps clarify your thinking, it documents your process and it gives you a tangible proof of progress.
Soon enough, you'll start to build an intuitive model of whatever it is you're working with, and some ideas will naturally start popping into your head. You can let go of the training wheels when you don't need them anymore, but don't be too brash either. They're always there if you need to put them back on in the future.
Remember to start with small steps. Small enough that you can sustain a frequent practice. To quote Ali Abdaal, lower the bar until you can maintain consistency. Your first objective should be to feel, "Oh! This is starting to make sense. I think I can do this.", not to become a prodigy on the first try.
In conclusion, I think the following lyrics excerpt from Gorillaz sums up the main takeaway from this post.
Feeling sensations that you thought was dead
No squealing and remember that it's all in your headI ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine in a bag
I'm useless but not for long
The future is coming on— Gorillaz, "Clint Eastwood"
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